Refute To Nasty Nostalgia
I don’t think you understand the sacrifices that I made,
Maybe if you’ve acted right, I would have stayed.
Not even once you appreciated me, Don’t I deserve respect?
I've done my best to give you nothing less than perfectness.
And I know that since I end that, I no longer have nothing left,
You know what you've done, No need to go in depth.
I feel like when I bent over and backward for you, All you did is laugh,
But that ain't good enough you expected me to fold myself in half.
Don't I give you enough of my time? You don't think so. Do you?
You said you were jealous when I spent time with guys then how I was married to you?
I know when I walked out, You almost died,
It was almost a homicide, That I caused but I was so traumatised.
Felt like I was in for a long bus ride,
I'd rather die than you not by my side.
Can't count how many times I vomited, cried,
Went to my room, turned the music on and hide.
Thought we were Bonnie and Clyde,
No, on the inside we both are Jekyll and Hyde.
Go marry someone else and make her famous,
And take away her freedom like you did to me,
Treat her like you don't need her and she isn’t worthy of you,
Now I'm special? Oh, I didn't feel special when I was with you,
All I ever felt was this that you won’t deny
Helplessness & Imprisoned by a selfish guy who chewed me up and spat me out,
I feel ridiculous that for my love you still have doubt.
Now after a year, you turned and wrote that you hate me and regret that,
“I used you as a time pass and an ATM”, I can’t believe that you said that.
I can't get you out of my head,
So I'm out of bed at 4 in the morning, wishing I was dead.
But for some odd reason, I can't-do it,
For some reason, I needed to write.
What's on my mind and what's going through it,
Cause if I don't, I'll probably suffocate.
Why do you have so much hate?
God, I fucking love you. I hate myself for falling in love with you,
Just to find out all I did was trouble you.
My heart is aching, I'm medicated,
But nothing works, I don't even feel sedated.
I wish you could feel what I feel for one second,
I reckon you would jump out your window bare naked.
But I'm not pointing fingers, heaven knows I’ve never been a saint,
Do you think my feelings have effaced and lost? No, Sammy, they ain’t.
I’m still here with a heart, Big enough to pump this blood through both of us,
How can I say how much you mean to me without sounding so damn stupid,
I don’t think you understand that I love you so much & it’s so confusing.